March 15, 2011
Thai Die.  Peanut oil, garlic, fresno chili pepper, hungarian chili pepper, serrano chili pepper, orange bell pepper, red bell pepper, red onion, ground chicken, fish sauce, dark brown sugar, sesame oil, cashews, basil, white pepper, sweet chili sauce. You remember that scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark where the Nazis’ eyes boil out of their heads when they look at the Ark?  Same principle here.  You’re gonna get the sweats just being in the same room as this thing.  It’s got five different kinds of peppers (plus seeds and veins) fine diced and cooked in oil so that volcano heat coats everything it touches.  Stir-fry in some onion, and it’s pretty much screaming in the pan.  Add a lot of chicken, and that bird is gonna catch on fire.  The heat gets cut down a little when you add some cashews and basil for some crunch and sweetness, but a final drenching of sweet chili sauce brings it right back up where it’s supposed to be.  You might want to keep that fire extinguisher handy for dessert.

Thai Die.  Peanut oil, garlic, fresno chili pepper, hungarian chili pepper, serrano chili pepper, orange bell pepper, red bell pepper, red onion, ground chicken, fish sauce, dark brown sugar, sesame oil, cashews, basil, white pepper, sweet chili sauce.

You remember that scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark where the Nazis’ eyes boil out of their heads when they look at the Ark?  Same principle here.  You’re gonna get the sweats just being in the same room as this thing.  It’s got five different kinds of peppers (plus seeds and veins) fine diced and cooked in oil so that volcano heat coats everything it touches.  Stir-fry in some onion, and it’s pretty much screaming in the pan.  Add a lot of chicken, and that bird is gonna catch on fire.  The heat gets cut down a little when you add some cashews and basil for some crunch and sweetness, but a final drenching of sweet chili sauce brings it right back up where it’s supposed to be.  You might want to keep that fire extinguisher handy for dessert.

9:51am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZPm3ux3d756w
February 28, 2011
Masa of Disguise.  Roasted chicken (chicken breasts, extra virgin olive oil, kosher salt, tellicherry pepper); “masa” dough (corn tortillas, chicken stock, kosher salt); extra virgin olive oil, orange bell pepper, red bell pepper, green bell pepper, vidalia onion, tomatoes, cumin, chili powder, cayenne pepper, kosher salt, tellicherry pepper. Is it an ugly chicken pot pie?  Is it the biggest freaking tamale ever?  Well, it’s a little of both.  It’s a casserole stuffed with roasted chicken and grilled peppers and just enough spice to get your heart pumping.  The dough tastes like a traditional tamale, but while those use cornmeal or masa mixed with lard, this recipe uses corn tortillas (and lots of ‘em) that have been shredded in a food processor and mixed with chicken stock so it forms a moist dough with tons of flavor that won’t dry out in the oven.  You won’t have any clue what you’re eating, but you’ll know you love it.

Masa of Disguise.  Roasted chicken (chicken breasts, extra virgin olive oil, kosher salt, tellicherry pepper); “masa” dough (corn tortillas, chicken stock, kosher salt); extra virgin olive oil, orange bell pepper, red bell pepper, green bell pepper, vidalia onion, tomatoes, cumin, chili powder, cayenne pepper, kosher salt, tellicherry pepper.

Is it an ugly chicken pot pie?  Is it the biggest freaking tamale ever?  Well, it’s a little of both.  It’s a casserole stuffed with roasted chicken and grilled peppers and just enough spice to get your heart pumping.  The dough tastes like a traditional tamale, but while those use cornmeal or masa mixed with lard, this recipe uses corn tortillas (and lots of ‘em) that have been shredded in a food processor and mixed with chicken stock so it forms a moist dough with tons of flavor that won’t dry out in the oven.  You won’t have any clue what you’re eating, but you’ll know you love it.

10:27am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZPm3ux3KVC1F
February 22, 2011
Oysters Iraqefeller.  Unsalted butter, peanut oil, heavy cream, shallots, lemon juice, Greek yogurt, garlic, ginger, garam masala, cumin, chili powder, cayenne pepper, Turkish bay leaf, kosher salt, tellicherry pepper, tomato paste, cornstarch, water, oysters, cilantro; Arkansan long grain white rice, chicken stock, water; naan. Oysters Rockefeller got their name because they have so much butter in them that they’re richer than the Rockefellers.  Well, butter isn’t just for WASPs: there’s a Persian/Punjab dish called murgh makhani, which sounds like a villain out of Lord of the Rings, but translates as Butter Chicken.  It’s similar to chicken curry, but with a much richer sauce that comes from three fats (butter, cream, and peanut oil) thickened up with cornstarch.  This version uses oysters instead of chicken because the latter tends to just take in the sauce and lose any of its own flavor.  The oysters are added in at the last second and they’re cooked just enough so they soak up the juices without losing their texture.  The sauce is so addictive that you’ve got to serve it up with some rice and naan (leavened flatbread) to sop up any extras.  If there’s still anything left over after that, you might have to get creative.  (Straw not pictured.)

Oysters Iraqefeller.  Unsalted butter, peanut oil, heavy cream, shallots, lemon juice, Greek yogurt, garlic, ginger, garam masala, cumin, chili powder, cayenne pepper, Turkish bay leaf, kosher salt, tellicherry pepper, tomato paste, cornstarch, water, oysters, cilantro; Arkansan long grain white rice, chicken stock, water; naan.

Oysters Rockefeller got their name because they have so much butter in them that they’re richer than the Rockefellers.  Well, butter isn’t just for WASPs: there’s a Persian/Punjab dish called murgh makhani, which sounds like a villain out of Lord of the Rings, but translates as Butter Chicken.  It’s similar to chicken curry, but with a much richer sauce that comes from three fats (butter, cream, and peanut oil) thickened up with cornstarch.  This version uses oysters instead of chicken because the latter tends to just take in the sauce and lose any of its own flavor.  The oysters are added in at the last second and they’re cooked just enough so they soak up the juices without losing their texture.  The sauce is so addictive that you’ve got to serve it up with some rice and naan (leavened flatbread) to sop up any extras.  If there’s still anything left over after that, you might have to get creative.  (Straw not pictured.)

10:05am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZPm3ux3DNwTY
February 14, 2011
Cornish Bitches Don’t Play.  Cornish game hen, black truffle butter, shallots, clementine zest, clementine juice, lemon zest, lemon juice, basil, thyme, chicken stock, cream sherry, golden raisins, flour, kosher salt, tellicherry pepper. This is one of those girls with a lot of baggage.  First off, it could just be a plain roasted hen that would taste great because it’s so fresh.  But no.  Instead, it’s got a glaze of black truffle butter and is stuffed with a clementine-herb marinade.  The butter lets it brown evenly and gives the skin a unique earthy flavor.  As you roast the chicken, all of the juices pour into the stock around it to make a clementine gravy, which the dried golden raisins soak up until they’re just about to pop.  She’s got a lot going on, but this little lady deserves the extra love and attention.  Because if you don’t give it to her, she will cut you.

Cornish Bitches Don’t Play.  Cornish game hen, black truffle butter, shallots, clementine zest, clementine juice, lemon zest, lemon juice, basil, thyme, chicken stock, cream sherry, golden raisins, flour, kosher salt, tellicherry pepper.

This is one of those girls with a lot of baggage.  First off, it could just be a plain roasted hen that would taste great because it’s so fresh.  But no.  Instead, it’s got a glaze of black truffle butter and is stuffed with a clementine-herb marinade.  The butter lets it brown evenly and gives the skin a unique earthy flavor.  As you roast the chicken, all of the juices pour into the stock around it to make a clementine gravy, which the dried golden raisins soak up until they’re just about to pop.  She’s got a lot going on, but this little lady deserves the extra love and attention.  Because if you don’t give it to her, she will cut you.

8:56am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZPm3ux34E7Qx
February 8, 2011
Meatstock. Green lentils, vegetable broth, red onion, carrot, extra virgin olive oil, cumin, chicken stock, cilantro, chorizo, Negro Modelo. When you think of lentils, you think of dirty vegan hippies (or their gay cousins, the hipsters) eating soup out of clay pots and discussing their latest overwrought review on Pitchfork or Yelp. Not any more. Just add some Mexican heat and meat and it’ll send those bastards running out of their parents’ basement and out into the real world. This soup’s got a double dose of sausage with half of it pureed into the lentils and the rest mixed in for a chunky topping. With lentils redeemed, all that’s left is to save our dear friend Pabst from the clutches of the hip-.

Meatstock. Green lentils, vegetable broth, red onion, carrot, extra virgin olive oil, cumin, chicken stock, cilantro, chorizo, Negro Modelo.

When you think of lentils, you think of dirty vegan hippies (or their gay cousins, the hipsters) eating soup out of clay pots and discussing their latest overwrought review on Pitchfork or Yelp. Not any more. Just add some Mexican heat and meat and it’ll send those bastards running out of their parents’ basement and out into the real world. This soup’s got a double dose of sausage with half of it pureed into the lentils and the rest mixed in for a chunky topping. With lentils redeemed, all that’s left is to save our dear friend Pabst from the clutches of the hip-.

11:21pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZPm3ux2_Q1cT
February 7, 2011
Eggs Benedict Arnold.  Eggs, mayonnaise, mango chutney, kosher salt, white pepper; pork sausage, extra sharp Cheddar, Cayenne pepper, Bisquick; sage. Aside from gun rights and teenage pregnancy, few things are as purely Southern as deviled eggs.  (I hear the North is fond of them, too, but I’m assuming that some carpetbagger stole that recipe.)  If you’ve had one deviled egg, you’ve had them all, probably devoured by the dozen at a picnic or post-funeral gathering.  But part of what makes them so good is that they’re an unchanging part of Southern heritage.  Well, the British have their own hard-boiled snack: the Scotch Egg, which is a hard-boiled egg wrapped in sausage and breadcrumbs, deep fried and then dipped in cheese sauce.  It’s also a great unchanging tradition, but all you taste is the deep-fried sausage.  This recipe gives you the best of both cultures: creamy deviled egg on the outside, crunchy and spicy sausage ball in the center.  Your friends and family may call you a traitor, but they’ll forgive you (even if your arteries won’t) once you remind them it’s basically a deviled egg that’s been fried, another great Southern tradition.  Assuming we ever have to teach those fog-breathers another lesson, these’ll make a great snack at the next Treaty of Paris.

Eggs Benedict Arnold.  Eggs, mayonnaise, mango chutney, kosher salt, white pepper; pork sausage, extra sharp Cheddar, Cayenne pepper, Bisquick; sage.

Aside from gun rights and teenage pregnancy, few things are as purely Southern as deviled eggs.  (I hear the North is fond of them, too, but I’m assuming that some carpetbagger stole that recipe.)  If you’ve had one deviled egg, you’ve had them all, probably devoured by the dozen at a picnic or post-funeral gathering.  But part of what makes them so good is that they’re an unchanging part of Southern heritage.  Well, the British have their own hard-boiled snack: the Scotch Egg, which is a hard-boiled egg wrapped in sausage and breadcrumbs, deep fried and then dipped in cheese sauce.  It’s also a great unchanging tradition, but all you taste is the deep-fried sausage.  This recipe gives you the best of both cultures: creamy deviled egg on the outside, crunchy and spicy sausage ball in the center.  Your friends and family may call you a traitor, but they’ll forgive you (even if your arteries won’t) once you remind them it’s basically a deviled egg that’s been fried, another great Southern tradition.  Assuming we ever have to teach those fog-breathers another lesson, these’ll make a great snack at the next Treaty of Paris.

10:19am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZPm3ux2yeccL
February 1, 2011
Maui Waui. Chicken, extra virgin olive oil, kosher salt, tellichery pepper, Vidalia onions, garlic, cumin, marjoram, chili powder, red pepper flakes, habanero, flour, Great Northern beans, vegetable broth, pineapple, carrots, chicken stock, basil; Frito Scoops. Hawaii is famous for two homegrown delicacies that elevate your mind into the sublime: delicious island cuisine that blends Pacific Rim and American ingredients, and apparently some of the most potent pot on the planet. This meal-in-a-bowl does the island justice with chicken that has a sweet and spicy kick that’ll send you to Nirvana without the DEA busting down your door for the fourth time. The hearty chili is as thick as cheese dip and gets its island flavor courtesy of the pineapple, carrots, and three different chilis and peppers, while the salty crunch from the Fritos brings it back home to the Lower 48. This recipe calls for marjoram instead of the real sticky icky, but make it for your friends and this green herb will prove that all you need is hugs, not drugs.

Maui Waui. Chicken, extra virgin olive oil, kosher salt, tellichery pepper, Vidalia onions, garlic, cumin, marjoram, chili powder, red pepper flakes, habanero, flour, Great Northern beans, vegetable broth, pineapple, carrots, chicken stock, basil; Frito Scoops.

Hawaii is famous for two homegrown delicacies that elevate your mind into the sublime: delicious island cuisine that blends Pacific Rim and American ingredients, and apparently some of the most potent pot on the planet. This meal-in-a-bowl does the island justice with chicken that has a sweet and spicy kick that’ll send you to Nirvana without the DEA busting down your door for the fourth time. The hearty chili is as thick as cheese dip and gets its island flavor courtesy of the pineapple, carrots, and three different chilis and peppers, while the salty crunch from the Fritos brings it back home to the Lower 48. This recipe calls for marjoram instead of the real sticky icky, but make it for your friends and this green herb will prove that all you need is hugs, not drugs.

9:41am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZPm3ux2rlsM3
January 28, 2011
Grease in the Middle East. Falafel (chickpeas, vegetable broth, Vidalia onion, red bell pepper, garlic, cumin, red chili flakes, egg, canola oil, flour, Italian parsley, cilantro, kosher salt, tellicherry pepper); mint toum (mint, garlic, garlic powder, cilantro, Italian parsley, eggs, Dijon mustard, vegetable oil, water, toasted mustard seeds, kosher salt, tellicherry pepper); Silvek’s hoagie. I don’t want to blow your mind, but apparently there’s some sort of ongoing disagreement between Palestine and Israel. Well, as any Southerner knows, fried food is the solution to all problems small and international. This sub combine’s Jewish falafel (fried chickpea patties) with Levantine toum (garlic dip, but with mint here) like a meatball sandwich; the falafel is crispy, but not heavy, and the mint toum is as creamy as mayo and cool enough to pretend Spring’s come early. Send this sandwich off to Jerusalem for a little breaking of the bread, and the only thing they’ll be killing each other over is who gets the last bite.

Grease in the Middle East. Falafel (chickpeas, vegetable broth, Vidalia onion, red bell pepper, garlic, cumin, red chili flakes, egg, canola oil, flour, Italian parsley, cilantro, kosher salt, tellicherry pepper); mint toum (mint, garlic, garlic powder, cilantro, Italian parsley, eggs, Dijon mustard, vegetable oil, water, toasted mustard seeds, kosher salt, tellicherry pepper); Silvek’s hoagie.

I don’t want to blow your mind, but apparently there’s some sort of ongoing disagreement between Palestine and Israel. Well, as any Southerner knows, fried food is the solution to all problems small and international. This sub combine’s Jewish falafel (fried chickpea patties) with Levantine toum (garlic dip, but with mint here) like a meatball sandwich; the falafel is crispy, but not heavy, and the mint toum is as creamy as mayo and cool enough to pretend Spring’s come early. Send this sandwich off to Jerusalem for a little breaking of the bread, and the only thing they’ll be killing each other over is who gets the last bite.

9:06am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZPm3ux2nOaQv
January 25, 2011
Pump Up the Jam. Carrots, habanero chili, lemon zest, lemon juice, sugar, brandy, toasted walnuts; Silvek’s croissant. Coffee is dead. When you start your morning off with this carrot-habanero jam, you have two options: you can go straight to work and finally have the fire in your belly to act out all your quitting fantasies at the same time, or, for the more ambitious, eat the entire jar and have the strength to crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women.

Pump Up the Jam. Carrots, habanero chili, lemon zest, lemon juice, sugar, brandy, toasted walnuts; Silvek’s croissant.

Coffee is dead. When you start your morning off with this carrot-habanero jam, you have two options: you can go straight to work and finally have the fire in your belly to act out all your quitting fantasies at the same time, or, for the more ambitious, eat the entire jar and have the strength to crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women.

12:24pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZPm3ux2kTV4i
January 23, 2011
Wanton Italian Chicks. Chicken sausage, balsamic onions (Vidalia onion, balsamic vinegar, extra virgin olive oil, kosher salt, tellicherry pepper), porcini mushroom; wonton wrappers; tarragon; chicken-miso broth (red miso paste, chicken stock). This is an Italian version of an Asian meal I had in Chicago. The original used pork, which made it a little bland and greasy enough to make the wrappers see-through; with chicken, each wonton tastes like a big bite of Cacciatore. Also, I used chicken stock instead of dashi (Japanese fish stock), so it keeps the lightness of miso soup but tastes and smells like it came right out of Mom’s chicken pot pie. Combine the two, and you’ll come back to cheat on old chicken and dumplings every time.

Wanton Italian Chicks. Chicken sausage, balsamic onions (Vidalia onion, balsamic vinegar, extra virgin olive oil, kosher salt, tellicherry pepper), porcini mushroom; wonton wrappers; tarragon; chicken-miso broth (red miso paste, chicken stock).

This is an Italian version of an Asian meal I had in Chicago. The original used pork, which made it a little bland and greasy enough to make the wrappers see-through; with chicken, each wonton tastes like a big bite of Cacciatore. Also, I used chicken stock instead of dashi (Japanese fish stock), so it keeps the lightness of miso soup but tastes and smells like it came right out of Mom’s chicken pot pie. Combine the two, and you’ll come back to cheat on old chicken and dumplings every time.

11:39pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZPm3ux2jC3Ap
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